Kristine Renae (_autumn_last) wrote in just_scream,
Kristine Renae

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Major Venting

Hi, I'm a new member! Ok, now that that's over...on to my vicious bitching.

+Each of these are directed at someone, but I'm not listing names. You never know what people will find online!+

♥ - You know what? I love you so much!!! Sometimes I really start to doubt whether you feel the same. I know you tell me SEVERAL times every day that you love me, but sometimes I really start to wonder. As you're in college 1 and 1/2 hours away, I only get to see you on the weekends, and I miss you SO FUCKING MUCH when you're not around. 5 out of 7 days a week, you're not there, and during those 5 out of 7 days it's like the sun won't shine, the stars won't come out, stress and pressure won't lift away, and everybody's on my case, but those 2 days you're here each week...everything's just perfect. I don't know how you do it, but you make everything right!
But next weekend you won't be coming back. You'll be staying up at college for the weekend because your friend is meeting some guy in real life that she met on the internet and she wants you to stay on campus in case he's a creep. Now, it's not that I don't trust you, because what's a relationship without trust? But I know you've talked with her about me, and what part of "I FUCKING MISS YOU" doesn't she understand? Why can't she have some other guy stick around? All I ever want to do is be with you, and you've told me yourself that when you're gone you miss me so much and can't wait to see me. WHY do you have to be such a good friend? I know it sounds really selfish of me, but I don't care! I love you and I'd spend every second of every day with you if I could! But I can't...and I have to make do with the hours we can spend together on weekends. WHY is your friend taking those few precious hours from me?
I. LOVE. YOU! and you know what? Valentine's Day is on Monday, and the closest time to that I'd be able to see you is next weekend...but no. You'll be up in your dorm, waiting around in case your friend's visitor turns out to be a lunatic. ANY OTHER PERSON could do that, so why does it have to be you?
I'm going to have to go 12 days without seeing you, just so she can meet an online person for 2 days? That doesn't seem quite fair to me! I was under the impression that I'm your girlfriend and you know what? When you go and do something like say "I love you", I do the craziest thing: I believe it.
I just wish I could get my point across about how much I love you, and how much it hurts to just have my heart beat when you're not there...
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